This last week has been one of great highs and terrible lows for women in my life who have lived through domestic violence.
The satisfaction of finding a life where the ex isn’t likely to find you.
The terror of the ex who drags you through litigation to smash you down, and keep you there.
Two women.
Two stories.
One lives in the refuge.
One does not.
Both are wonderful humans, terrific mums, loving friends.
One is penalised for having to move so many times to escape unwanted contact with her ex.
One is penalised for speaking up, and whenever her ex is hurting, he makes her hurt worse.
One is a professional.
One has had to constantly leave jobs to stay one step ahead of the violence.
Both are deeply and profoundly wounded by what has happened, and is happening, to them. Just trying to function, raise their kids, be good people.

Thwarted. Constantly.

They are tired.

Weary of other people stopping them from moving, not just forward, but anywhere.

Abuse, and violence, don’t stop until HE stops.

Make it stop.

As this whole bizzo has expanded, so have the variety of things we are supplying to the people I now have a working relationship/association with. Please read the list and see if there’s anything you can supply. If not, maybe you’d like to make a donation to our givealittle? The link is at the end of this post.

NZPC (New Zealand Prostitute’s Collective) 

• Pouch yoghurts – I’m going to buy them a few dozen of these regularly. They keep them in the fridge to give to clients who are strung out on drugs. It’s the only thing they can eat, so Annah makes sure there’s a good supply. You can help me with this by giving a few dollars (or more) to the givealittle.
• Pads/tampons – once again, I’ll be buying them regular supplies. It’s better to buy these in bulk so once again, this is a money thing.
• stationery vouchers – many of the NZPC clients have kids, of course – stationery vouchers would be one more expense they don’t have to worry about – I will be buying some so you can contribute to the givealittle OR you can buy one or two and send them to the Aunties PO Box (as with the givealittle, the address will be at the end of this post).
• Clothes – all sizes – they have sexual health clinics every Thursday and they have a great many clients attending. The clothes I have previously taken them have all gone, so we need more. In particular…. dresses and skirts  – all sizes, tight, hugging, suitable for sex work. We have drop off points now in New Lynn, Waitakere, in town, to me at my home, Pakuranga, Torbay, Warkworth, Greenhithe and Onehunga. Please contact me if you need those addresses. My email address is whaeapower@aunties.co.nz
• Big shoes (sizes 9-12) – many of the trans women in particular have larger feet, and have a really hard time finding suitable shoes. High heels, sandals, wedges, court shoes.
• Hotel toiletries – the staff make up packs for their clients who sleep rough, or are currently homeless. We don’t need these for the refuge so get collecting for the NZPC!
• A bench top oven – if you have one of these you don’t need anymore, Annah and the staff would appreciate one. They have very limited kitchen space. I can buy one but we are pretty stretched at the moment, so I’d prefer if someone could give us one.

Rainbow Youth

These lovely humans need some clothes racks – just a couple. Does anyone have some or one they don’t use anymore, that’s in good nick? Please contact me! Otherwise I will buy them a couple.

The refuge (s)

I really really really need large men’s clothes. Like, desperately! These are for the Whãnau house that Te Whãnau Rangimarie runs.

And for specific women:

Boy:
long pants/trackies size 14-16
jumpers – size 14
black runners – size 5 kids
gumboots – size 5
windbreaker/navy blue size 14 -16

If you have any of these items, please contact me at the email address above. Or you can pop a few dollars here –  http://www.givealittle.co.nz/cause/kapawhaea

If you would like to send me anything, our postal address is:

The Aunties

PO Box 76638

Manukau

Auckland 2241

Thank you so much.

Jackie

 

This year has been a seminal one, both for me personally, and for the Aunties. There are a lot of people to thank – people who were uber aunties, and people who made my job coordinating donations for first 2, and now 5, womens refuges, much easier.

Thanks first and foremost to the people who said yes to me this year.  The Aunties Board: who I approached for that express purpose early in the year, who all said yes and showed such trust and faith in me, and what I want to do with The Aunties. We have a vision, we have a mission, and we are very close to being a registered charity. Just some dotting of i’s and dotting of t’s to come. Thank you: MIchéle, Jackson, Elaine, Paul, Julie, and Phil. Thank you for your support, love, grand ideas, generosity, laughter and for making me think.

Thanks to the people who went above and beyond this year. Who started out giving me stuff for the women and are now collecting stuff from their circles, coming up with great ideas, firmly attached to the ethos of The Aunties and what we stand for.

Thank you to : Sacha, for looking after H. To Phil for advocating for C when she needed it the most. To Heather for starting out on your own Aunties adventure in Christchurch. To Rochelle for getting onboard and helping out the Wellington Women’s Boarding House, using the Aunties model.

Thank you Abbey Maree, Sherry, Alex, Rachel, Chantel, Alison, Paul, Diana, Jasmine, Tina, Hine, Kimi, Karen, Robyn, Sarah, Kyle, Rosie and Helene for being my shopping buddies this year.

Thank you, Ana, for spreading the word in a way that I couldn’t previously have dreamed about.

Thank you Shona, Mel,  Abigail, Mary, Danusia, Vish, Penny, Lee, Pauline D, Diane, Margie, Pip, Lisette, Siouxsie, Kellie, Roz, Ange, Jane, Gloria, Ebony, Mereana, Selina, Becs, Vicky, Anusha, Dita, Suzanne, Miche, Vivvy, Hilary, Jo, Emma, Allison, Leonie, David, Rob, Barb, Marina, Ed, Nellie, Atarea, Johanna, Delaney, Allan, Muirie, Tove, Deva, Fleur, Paul, Susan, Jenni, Lorna, Sharon, Vic, and Karen for your financial generosity, and your STUFF this year. For collecting stuff for me, for having a heart for the women, for trusting I know what I’m doing and that I’ll find a good home for anything you give to me. For taking stuff to the refuge because it was easier. For responding so quickly when I have told you about a need that one or some of the women may have. Above all for supporting this enterprise, that has expanded and become basically me sending you begging emails.

Thank you to Guardian Storage, and Ange in particular, for being so generous and so accommodating. Having a storage unit has made all the difference in the world. Speaking of which, thank you Mel for taking on the organisation of it. Most of the time, I dump and run, so I know it’s a challenge!

Thank you to Kris, Karen, Louise, Trish, Bill, and Renee for allowing me to keep doing this. I know I’m part of the furniture now, but I thank you for your trust in me, and for letting me, and the Aunties, into your hearts.

Thank you to everyone on Twitter, and on the public facebook page who listens. Who hears what I have to say, and sends me private messages to just lend your support and love. Those people who share things far and wide, favourite or like everything, and are great cheerleaders. I see you.

Thanks to the women who have allowed me to share that brief period of their lives whilst they are in the refuge, and recognised that they are worth what I/we are giving them. Who have trusted me with their stories, and who have taught me so much about my own life lived in IPV, and who have been gracious and accepting of me. Who have recognised me as one of them. Thanks in particular to A*, H, C, C, J, M and D, who have let me into their lives, and hearts. Love you long time.

Thank you to Pinky, who designed our new logo, which is exactly right, and takes us into charity status very nicely.

What most people don’t know is that we aren’t really a team, as such. There are many, many Aunties, and for the most part, it’s a cast of changing characters. We aren’t ever all in the same place at the same time, and sometimes people choose to step out and then step back in later, or step out permanently. I’ve never “kicked” anyone out of the Aunties – it’s not that sort of group. It’s mainly me communicating with everyone online/via email, and then I see you all one on one. Except at Easter, and Christmas, and when we need bulk toiletries. If you were to draw a diagram of what the Aunties is, it would look a bit like our logo tree. Hearts all over the place, and I’m the old trunk. The hearts don’t really see each other or even know each other exist but I connect them all. That was likely a crap analogy but oh well. I haven’t met a lot of the Aunties, and often I don’t actually know who they are. People choose to remain anonymous, mainly when giving money,  and I’m okay with that. Yet here we are. A group of people doing extraordinary things for other people. The number of people we are doing that with, and for, has increased but it was ever thus. Just getting it done.

Thanks so much to you all. I appreciate your contributions, love your work, and look forward to continuing to be stroppy together.

From my heart to yours.

Jackie.

Many of you know that at the end of September, I quit my teaching job in order to Aunty more fulltime. I thought that may be a couple of days a week. But at the moment, it really is fulltime. I’ve done this post more as a sort of accounting to myself, and been surprised at what this job actually consists of. It’s also a useful log for later, when I have to account to others for hours worked.

 

– Nov 2: 35 kms, meet K,  got stuff for kids – 3 hours
– Nov 3: 75 kms. Picked up stuff from Glen Eden, Balmoral, went to WH and bought $300 gift card for a family. Went to refuge, gave K $150 for phones. Gave stuff to C. Drove to PO Box in Manukau, storage unit in Wiri – unloaded car, put stuff in unit. 9-4
– Nov 6 – warehouse to buy 6 flexitubs $90, post office box, storage unit to unload tubs and boxes of clothes 47 km 10-2
– November 10th – 70km – post office storage unit, unload bedding, refuge, take C home 11-2
– 12 Nov – 28 km – storage unit to meet with Mel to discuss organising it 1-2
– 16 Nov – storage unit to unpack 10 km 9-10
– 25 Nov – loading car, storage unit, unpack, take baby stuff and clothes, Kmart for D voucher, Refuge 35 km 9-1
– 28 Nov – storage unit, refuge breakfast, Shine, pick up boxes, storage unit 67k 9-3
– Dec 1: refuge, unload, firm up Xmas lists with K, Kmart, post office, pick up J, unload baby stuff, take J to lunch, Warehouse for baby capsule, ($314) storage unit, police station re protection order and being transferred to another area 48km 9-3
– Dec 2 – attend K grad, pick up from Remuera, Western Springs, Onehunga, attend AWC AGM + talk abt Aunties and cars with CM 10am-9pm 90 kms
– Dec 3: pack car, storage unit 9.45-10.45
– Dec 5 – aunties meeting, pick up stuff 5.30- 9pm
– Dec 6 – drop stuff off at Te Whānau Rangimarie
– Dec 7 – C: MSD, police, enrol little C at kindy. 63k 12-4
– Dec 8 – post office, storage unit, unpack gifts, pack towels and bedding, refuge, supermarket for vouchers, back to refuge 20 km 10-2
– Dec 8 – pick up H, take to storage unit to get gifts and clothes, take her home again. 15 km 4.30-5.30
– Dec 9 storage unit with C to get clothes and gifts; 6pm phone T, talk, take food and visit with her. 6-8 pm
– Dec 10 – pick up A, shopping for and packing luxury gift baskets, 30 km
– Dec 12 – pick ups x 4, Mt Eden, Greenhithe, Pt Chev, shop for staff gift baskets 106km 10-4.30
–

Spend an average of 3 hours a day on Aunty emails/SM/messenger