Collection: Blog

So, I’m going to take the plunge and post some thoughts here. My main concern was about professional repercussions but, fuck it, I own my shit and I’m going to own it publicly. So here goes. CW child abuse, suicide, and general toxic relationship bullshit. I wanted to write this because not only is it timely given the Depp/Heard circus that people have latched on to (of which I refuse to express an opinion about), but it happens to...

Good evening, my friends. I come to you, feeling a bit like a disappointment. You know that most of our money every year comes from you, our donors. And that's it, apart from contributions from Yellow for specific projects. This last year has been rough for us, and I didn't really want to tell you about it because it's been rough for a lot of people. But we've reached a point where our fundraising is down $50,000 from the...

Over the past few years, the Aunties has grown dramatically in terms of how much money flows through our books and we’ve taken great pride in making sure all the money that is earmarked for the women goes to the women.When Jackie started the Aunties she did so on a volunteer basis, with a view to moving to full-time work with a salary when it was achievable.A couple of years ago Jackie took up the role full time and...

It's been a tough year. That's an understatement. Perhaps what I should say is it's been a tough year for everyone, but nobody else has suffered as much as people who were already under resourced, struggling with where to live and how to eat.Some of the women in our Aunties whānau have faced huge challenges this year. Lockdown, for some of them, was enjoyable. Spending time with their kids was much treasured. But the reality is that when kids...

Hasn’t it been a year? So much has changed, and with that in mind, I’ve decided we’re going to do things a wee bit differently. Normally, we do pressies for Te Whānau Rangimariē – Yellow are kindly doing those this year, so we just have to focus on 33 families. And at their last whānau hui the women made it very clear that they would like their teenagers to receive vouchers, so vouchers they shall recieve. To that end,...

It's time to talk about visibility. For a long time I have known that one of the things we need to do in this country is to wake up and take notice. About a lot of things, but especially about domestic violence. It’s incredibly difficult to tell your story of trauma and abuse, and when you start telling it, because the telling of it and being believed and supported is important to healing, the essential thing is that people listen...

In the last few decades, NZ has built itself an underclass, and a poverty industry which entirely revolves around making sure the underclass stays where it is.There are countless charities and agencies which "work" with under resourced people, and most of them would be out of a job should the government and employers decide to do primarily one thing.Raise benefits and pay everyone a living wage.Imagine the drop in crime if people had enough to live on?Imagine how less...

 *** This post has been edited to add a comment emailed to me by a reader. She wanted to point out that not all abusers have "tells" that other people would see. That comment - because this blog no longer accepts comments - has been added to the bottom of this post.   About a month ago, I read the Homicide Report  by Stuff journalists. It was the first time, in black and white, I had ever read what I know so...

I've just been writing a letter of thanks to the benefactor who pays almost half my salary. Looking back to where we have been, looking at where we are, and looking ahead to where we want to go, I am minded that it is a love letter as much to all of you, as to her. So I'd like to share it with you here. Consider it somewhat a repayment of my eternal debt to those of you who...

I've always been somewhat ambivalent about Anzac Day. I've never pinpointed quite why - there could be so many reasons - but today as I watched others commemorate, pay their respects, stand solemnly at their letterboxes, I think I may have figured it out.Domestic violence - in particular violence towards women - has never not been a thing. There are all sorts of reasons why people are abusive, some are hurt so badly in childhood they descend into the...

I've talked about my marriage and my husband a lot since he died 16 months ago. My tongue loosened, the words came rushing out of my mouth and hit the air, exploding my truth, our truth, all around me. So many words. And so much feedback since from people who recognised their relationship in mine. Who left a long time ago, or who were still in that space.So why keep talking about it? Because I have the privilege of...

If you’re struggling right now and you're in AKL....Auckland CouncilAucklanders unable to afford groceries or in self–isolation with no access to other support networks can call 0800 22 22 96 between 7am and 7pm, seven days a week. Callers must meet government criteria for assistance.Salvation Army0800 53 00 00Text your name and postcode to 4114 and a rep will contact you within 48 hours.Presbyterian Support Northern09 309 2054Collections between 11am – 12pm, Monday to Friday from 8 Madeira Lane,...